guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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