We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
