Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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