have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
