butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
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