awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
