Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
