thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
