Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Randomize
