im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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