I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
