Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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