im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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