This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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