I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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