Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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