she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Holy sore nipples Batman
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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