My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
