I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
