Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
