I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
