So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
