this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
