Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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