thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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