a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
