on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
