Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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