So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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