garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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