he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize