I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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