but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
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