A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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