I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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