Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Randomize
