dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
