i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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