She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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