Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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