"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
