8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize