My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
