he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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