it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
