she woke up with a sticky ear
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
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