beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize