im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
