I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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