Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize