I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
