i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
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