I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
