so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
