i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
