I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
