so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
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