Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
