Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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