nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
