It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blew my weed a kiss
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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