Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
