i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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