Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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