I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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