Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
