I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
